An accident-prone safety manager is doing his best to keep his crews safe while he continues to injure himself. His reputation for injuries started a couple of years ago when he suffered a compound fracture and lacerations while rushing to aid a worker who had been injured. He quickly became the priority for treatment. The good news is that both experienced a full recovery. The safety manager’s injuries were so severe and ironic that no one even remembers the injuries of the worker that he was rushing to help when he put himself in the hospital. Since then, he got a nasty splinter through a glove (only required first aid) and more recently suffered an injury in the office. Injuries that seem likely in an office are cutting a finger in the kitchen, getting burned when making coffee and a papercut. Slipping on a spill in the lunchroom or getting hung up on unruly cords and cables wouldn’t be a surprise either. None of those are what happened. His most recent injury involved a chair and a doorknob. While sitting in a conference room, he moved quickly to get up. His chair couldn’t keep up with the size of his head and the speed at which he tried to move and got hung up. His momentum then carried him into a doorknob which left marks on his head and in the wall. He tried to quickly shake the incident and the injury off. He was moderately successful as his head injury only resulted in a small bruise, however, the hole in the wall took a few days to patch and his pride still hasn’t healed. Because of his past injuries, there may be a bit of scarring that will make it all but impossible for his ego to fully recover even after property has been repaired and physical injuries have healed.
Because of his recent history, the safety manager has embraced a do as I say, not as I do motto when working with crews to keep them safe. They've also started to embrace this motto in an effort to keep him and his bad luck away from them. One benefit that the crews enjoy is that his bad luck has made him an even better punchline than the average safety guy. In an attempt to keep the safety manager safe and the main punchline on the project, the crew generously purchased an installed the above sticker on his hardhat.
***This was another Fake Construction News article. Stay tuned for more.***